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Best Quotes by W. C. Fields || Inspirational Quotes

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Best Quotes of W. C. Fields-

In English:- I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

In English:- Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

In English:- I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

In English:- I drink therefore I am.

In English:- I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

In English:- On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.

In English:- If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.

In English:- Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

In English:- Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

In English:- Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

In English:- I don’t know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

In English:- If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

In English:- Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

In English:- Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

In English:- Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

In English:- Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

In English:- A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

In English:- If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

In English:- Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

In English:- Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

In English:- I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

In English:- The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

In English:- It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

In English:- Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

In English:- My illness is due to my doctors’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

In English:- You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

In English:- I’d like to see Paris before I die.. Philadelphia will do.

In English:- The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

In English:- Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

In English:- Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

In English:- Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

In English:- Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

In English:- I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

In English:- Sleep – the most beautiful experience i life – except drink.

In English:- Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.

In English:- Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

In English:- Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

In English:- All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

In English:- I never met a kid I liked.

In English:- There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

In English:- Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

In English:- Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.

In English:- Never give a sucker an even break.

In English:- There are only two real ways to get ahead today – sell liquor or drink it.

In English:- I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

In English:- Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

In English:- A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

In English:- I like children – fried.

In English:- The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

In English:- I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

In English:- The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

In English:- Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

In English:- It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

In English:- No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.

In English:- I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

In English:- If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.

In English:- Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

In English:- When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

In English:- A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

In English:- Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.

In English:- The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

In English:- I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

In English:- I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

In English:- I must have a drink of breakfast.

In English:- There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

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